Julian Summerhayes

Starting over

I’ll keep this short.

Despite my proclivity on social media and good intentions to create and ship something of value, right now, my time online is getting in the way of doing my best work.

Besides the paid work, I know exactly where I should be spending my time:

1. writing
2. speaking
3. drawing

The thing is, as much as I value my time online, all I’m doing is providing sucker to Resistance (http://www.stevenpressfield.com/2013/11/resistance-and-self-loathing/).

I don’t want to throw in the towel — ‘Hell No’ — but neither do I want to keep struggling with the constant frustration of wanting to do both well/brilliantly and ending up somewhere in the middle, i.e. being mediocre.

If I’m honest, I would love to take a year’s sabbatical and do nothing online. But I’m scared that will people will:

(i) unfollow me;
(ii) forget me; or
(iii) I won’t have the energy to pick up where I left off.

I’m acutely aware that I’ve made declaration after (moribund) declaration and frankly a lot of what I’ve said is beginning to wear thin. (If you know me, you’ll know that I’m a straightforward guy and the last thing I would want to do is send you up another garden path.)

If there’s a middle way from my all-or-nothing approach, I’ve yet to find it. For a start, it’s way too easy to get sucked into social media and stay there, whereas it should be possible to turn everything off and not worry about the consequences.

However, I know that sooner or later I’m going to have to commit one way or the other. If I’m honest, I’m pretty sure I know which direction I’m headed, and it isn’t to spend more time online. Instead, it’s to share nothing, say nothing and keep my (putative) work close to my chest.

For the moment, I intend to keep with my previous blogging programme etc., but if, as likely, I decide to quash my output, I’ll be the first to let you know.

(published originally at http://juliansummerhayes.svbtle.com/)

“We will discover the nature of our particular genius when we stop trying to conform to our own and other’s people’s models, learn to be ourselves and allow our natural channel to open”

– Shakti Gawain

“Conditions for creativity are to be puzzled; to concentrate; to accept conflict and tension; to be born everyday; to feel a sense of self”

– Erich Fromm